The Graffiti of Carleton College

This page is either meant to provide a new and different perspective on a college with which you may not be too familiar OR maybe it is just here because I have a bit of spare time and I thought it might be amusing to some people. I make no definite claims.

For now, it's just going to be bathroom graffiti, because it is a reasonable proposal to record all of that. There isn't all that much graffiti at Carleton total, but it is easy to find all the bathrooms and not so easy to find all the graffiti. Yes, it will be mostly men's bathroom stuff, 'cause I'm a guy. I'll probably never include pictures, because, well, unless you are on campus, you are probably downloading this page at about 1kB/s.

A tiny little bit of background: When I visited Reed college last spring, there was some debate going on, at least in their newspaper, about graffiti at their school. Apparently, there was a belief that graffiti at Reed had tended to be very intelligent, including political and philisophical statements, poems and the like, but that in recent times it had degraded to insults and randomness. I can't say, I didn't see it, but it is interesting that they cared enough to talk about it. When I worked at Fermilab I noticed that the "graffiti" in the stalls in the Technical Department consisted of equations being solved on the wall. Also interesting. So I hope this will also be interesting to someone.

Some final disclaimers: These quotations are not going to be representative of the Carleton Student body for obvious reasons, but some may be enlightening anyway. Some of these will be offensive, also obviously. You were warned.

Semantics: "[?]" means that the text was hard to make out and may not be exact. Anything in square brackets is my comment. Most capitalization is mine, but some isn't. I am not trying very hard to keep this precise. I really should date these, since they change over time, but I haven't been. Look for this feature in the future. :) If a link doesn't take you anywhere, it means that nothing has been recorded for that building! (or the page hasn't finshed loading) Submissions are welcome, of course.

Academic Buildings
Center for Mathematics and Computer Science, Olin (Physics and Psychology), Mudd (Chemistry + Geology), Hulings (Biology), Science Annex, Laird (English), Leighton (Philosophy), Bolio (Art), Language and Dining Building, Willis (Media Studies + ?), Scoville (Political Science? + ?), Music and Drama Center, Arena Theater, Old Music Hall

Athletic Buildings
Cowlings, West Gym, Rec Center

Sayles-Hill (Campus Center), Goodsell Observatory, Library, Chapel

Goodhue, Evans, Watson, Myers, Nourse (also has Nourse Theater), Severance (also has administrative offices), Burton (also has a dining hall), Davis (also has the Wellness Center), Musser

Olin (physics, psychology, linked to Mudd (chemistry, geology) and Hulings (biology))
"Kyia really fucking sucks"
[in response] "wouldn't the world be a better place if he was dead?"
[also in response] "Yea, I totally hate that guy."
"Vagina Penis"
"1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21..."
"Kia sucks"
[in response] "-Indeed he does"
"Go to hell girl
You make me sick
I hope your new boyfriend
gets cancer in hes dick!"
"Dogg house?"
[pardon the attempt at ASCIIfying the chem:]

O N--N  O--NO
 2   |  |    2
     \  /
[maybe in response] "So that's why it comes out like that"
[some kind of unlabled flow chart including a bottle of "absolut chem"]

Burton (dorm and dining hall), ground floor, men's
"Frodo lives"

Laird (English building), ground floor, men's
"Respected for being calm in a panic
Detected under a palm tree in a hammock
But still I stand quick and hold my ground
These words I give to you absent of sound"
"i~~~~~~~~~~~~~" [a periodic squiggly line]

Library, 2nd floor, men's
"For a good time, be here thurs. 7pm"
"Fierro" [two of these]
"Then why do you [----illegable----] + make more of us?"
"[name withheld] can't digest dairy products"
"Fuck the rich"
[in reply] "Yeah, they pay better"
[also in reply] "And what are you? Tell a bangladeshi that you are poor"
[in reply] "Fuck them the bangladeshi's"
"We need better lighting to read this good [strange symbols, best guess BS]"
"LELQALIZE" [legalize?]
"Death to all cops, love amadou Diallo"
"Fuck Alf" [large]
"Why are ^ so embarresed by farting?"
"Alexander Supertramp lives"

"Those who write on bathroom walls
should roll their shit into little balls
Those who read their words of wit
Should eat those little balls of shit"

"Suck my dick"
"what did you eat?"
"Fuck" [large, in 3d]
[in 'reply'] "-you to whoever wrote this"
[the following has been partially to completely scratched out] "Which is better
A good [illegable]
If you're [illegable] they're
just about the same"
[in reply] "Ignorant bigot"
[in reply] "Suck my dick, you flamer[?]"
[in reply to something illegable] "Fuck you bitch"
"Get up"
"Stand up"
[transliterated from Russian] "Moi shit"
[the symbols, not the words:] "integral of e^x = f(u^n)"
"f(x) = lim x-->infinity of x"
"U = (1+1/n)"
"bad girls are always bad girls, just let them in"

Library, 3rd floor, women's:
"Oh, bathroom philistine
Erase not these lines;
There'd be nothing to read here
If not for my rhymes.
-Bathroom Wall Poet"
[in reply] "This isn't a wall!
-Bathroom Philistine/literalist" [because the above was written on a toilet paper dispenser]
"Just write thoughts if you must-
no disputes. There are too many anyway." ":)" [but not sideways]

Library, 3rd floor, men's:
[paraphrased] "All carleton students are nerds!"
"Smoke weed or become a Republican"
[in reply] "This is the worst reason I have ever seen for smoking weed"
[also in reply] "Amen, brother!"
"Art is Gay"
[Something in Spanish(?)]

Watson (a dorm), 5th floor, north bathroom:
"The" [---------------(scratched out)---------------] "is" [---------------------] "train"
[formerly "The light at the end of the tunnel {-------------scratched out-----------} is a train" it looks like it may have been a poem originally]
"mombeado" [?]

Music and Drama buidling, lower level, large men's near stairs
"FJG 95"
"Just pussy lickers"
[A table, layed out more or less as follows:]
Tom      | Jerry
Congress | Progress
Patkey   | Butter [this line is in red]
Carleton | Fellatio
Crisp    | Fog
[a picture a penis]
"Smoke Joyc"[?]
"I like my weed, man!"
"Wake up and smell the marijuana"
"Yeah! Hemp doggy dog!" [?]
"now smoke pot"
[picure of what might be a muted trumpet]
"I [heart] Mandy"
"This place [a word which isn't "sucks", best guess at each letter gives "SHONS"]"
"Poo Poo cusion" [this appears twice]
"Save Ferris"
"Lsat stray lounge"
"Geo majors smell"
" "Carleton is not a Conservatory" "
[in reply] "-Do tell!!"
"Here is no soon, hing is the balence of [--illegable--] power"
" "There are 2 types people in the world [--illegable--] those [----] 2 types of people, and those who don't" -Tom Robbins "

Music and drama building, lower level, small men's near the practice rooms
[in large letters on the stall door] "ZELDA"
[in reply] "Blaster Master was good too"
"You are not your thoughts or your emotions or your fears"

CMC (Center for Math and Computer science), first floor men's:
"This is the worst stall on campus Sterile as a Rastafarian" [later changed to:] "This is 'the' stall on campus [rest scratched out]"
"Ddiehl's [a former network admin] password is [something scribbled out]"
"darbyt has concept1"
"murrayw loves emulators"
[scratched in very large letters on the side of a stall] "Anonymous Hate Speach"
[All the folowing are written in the cracks between tiles on the wall in one stall]
"[illegible] is [illegiable] of linguistics, linguistics are evil, evil is satan, [illegible] Zaring is satan"
[written so that to read it you have to lean forward while sitting on the toilet] "You are now sitting at a 45 degree angle"
"C.K. '98 Yea Bitch"
"Why did they move the TP?" [in response] "To give the [illegible] a better view"
"Wouldn't you think that Carleton students have better things to do than write in stalls?" [in response] "Hell no, there is nothing to do"
"Form + Function = Carl"
"SO fuck you all"
"Think before you act or speak"
"poop is enlightenment"
"Carleton students are arrogent, arrogence is pride, pride goeth before the fall, [3 dot therefore] Carleton students goeth before the fall"
"Ray Charles is Blind, blind is love, love is god [3 dot therefore] Ray Charles is god"
"God is love, love is forever, forever is boring, [presumably this said "god is"] boring"
"I heard there's a stack of porn behind that panel"
"I saw schiller" [schiller has a lot of meaning behind it, i'll see if I can link to something]
"End this senseless destruction -national grout preservation society"
"[scratched out] takes it up the ass"
"Y'know, I really like girls"
"guys have their points too"
"Yeah, like liking girls"
"I think my ass can talk"
"hand me your interestingness"
"Viva la casa de Jeweh[?]"
"[upsidedown 'A' = for all] a [funny E = in the set] R, ae = ea = a"
"I think I want to move into this stall, it smells a lot better than my roommate"
"Oh, do you live with [scratched out]"
"[name removed cause I don't feel like publishing it]'s dick is 4 inches long - erect"

CMC, 1st floor, women's
"A woman may have to sit when she pees
but she has less to fear from bats and knees

Salyes-Hill (campus center), basement, women's
"to sit in solemn silence
on a dull, dark, dock
In a pestilential prison
with a life-long lock
Awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shot
from a cheap and chippy chipper
on a big, black block


Salyes, basement, men's:
"Carleton Football asseless (asse" [?]
"Someone has written this sentance before"
"Sauc the russian collec" [?]
"my my my"
"Why are CUT players pricks? THEY PLAY"
"They have big dick turds [?] too"
"The Carleton 8"
"Don't let the CMC run your life; stop email"
[in reply] "Saves paper"
[also in reply] "Who uses a semicolon in bathroom graffiti?"
[in reply] "Me;"
[also in reply] "I stuck my dick in your mom's semicolon"
[in reply] "Better than her period"
[in reply] "You are disgusting"
"This graffiti is too up-scale, more swearing people!"
[in reply] "Fuck you"
"Wow-you guys are creative" [pointing at something illegable that, best guess, said something like "mouth turd"]
"People are stupid here"
"Poor dead walter"
"#34 lives on"
[a very simple drawing of a penis]
"yeah kirby!"
"Nixon for president"
"Carleton women R ugly"
"Genius L"
"Our laws have no meaning past the setting of the sun
what we reap is what we have sown"
"Your hypocrisy, suave brutality, your empty religion
your proud hollow philosophy consumerism
your TV your constant sexuality I oppose vehemently
I vow"
[all the above in this bathroom was erased, the following is new]
"Kyia eats undercooked meat"
"Kyia deals drugs"
[in response] "to babies"
"Kyia peddles kiddie porn"
"You know, if you think about something long enough, you just have to eat it"
"The following statement is true
The above statement is false"
"Kyia wears fur"
"Kyia killed my dog"
[in response] "no, youth culture killed my dog"
[pointing at nothing] "that makes me feel a little exposed"
"Kyia wears white after labor day"
[moderate sized and very stylized] "Sonic"
[in reply] "they make great burgers"

Myers, 1st floor, men's
"CC SLAB" [the CC has an arrow thru it]

Myers (a dorm), 4th floor, men's
[pointing to the intersection of the spaces between tiles with a dot drawn in it] "<-- optical illusion (griun [?] me)"
"Pencil + great [?] = fun"
"This wall is not 4 writing"
"What to do about problems"
"Find this dot on mr butt [---trails off---]"
"donut [?] lout"
"there is no paper here"

From, uh, somewhere (all the same place, but I've forgotten where, Library?)

"Denmad = doh"
"Wish people would stop doing drugs"
"I wish everyone did drugs"
"[----illegible-----] suck on"
"Deez no"
"Better music at parties"
"Wellstone is cool"
"Bring it on deannaa [?]"
"Life is a gift horse"
"living should not be a chore"
"It's all about beer"
"sex has saved me"
"If you aren't scared, you're stupid"
"Pot rules"
"Denmad are cowardly fucking cornholes, simple fact... show your faces so I can beat them bloody"
[in reply] "hard as hell"
"Carleton is all nerds"
[in reply] "ugly nerds"
"CCCP -> SSSR get it right"
"Wonmen drive me to drink"
"LSD for all LSD for all"
"subvert the dominant paradigm"
"Jesus loves you"
[in reply] "so does satan"
"just jealous of you"
"An old line [?] teaches wisdom / A wild bird is crying the truth"
"Who da man"
[in reply] "not you"
"I kill for fun"
"Mexico - the women are wonderful, but I still got the sq[--trails off--]"
"demand more from life"
"republicans - rule"
"Fuck the police"

a women's bathroom somewhere:
"Kiss the spider"

More to come... maybe...
Last content update: Some time in 2001?
Last HTML update: 12 Aug 2002